I am sorry. That is very very tough. A good friend of mine has a daughter who is bi polar and it has been very hard for her. We talk about it a lot. I would suggest a psychiatrist instead of an MD. Very hard to make medication decisions in someone that young. Her brain is still developing on the one hand but something is very wrong on the other.

My daughter suffered from depression most of her teens and acted out. With her it started in 6th grade. She never got the physical with her anger but very disrespectful with her mother. Got into the party scene. I pulled her out of public high school and got her in online school. This was good and bad. It got her out of an environment that was not good for her but in a way made the depression worse because she didn't have to get up and go somewhere. And it takes self motivation to do online school and you don't have that when depressed. She is 21 now and at 18 to 19 she totally came out of it and is doing great now. I can't believe the difference. She is still predisposed though and has to really watch how she deals with stress. She was on meds very briefly at 16 but didn't want to take them so we didn't make her.

So hard for parents to know what to do. She probably can't help it but you can't tolerate abusive behavior and have to do something. I can only advise getting her all the help you possibly can. Home school, charter, public, online....it is so hard to know what is the best. That is why I think a psychiatrist and psychologist that specialize in children and teens is the best.