Well. I found my first ts smirky because they were saying, "youre smart enough hankster, you can figure this out - ie figure out your parents are too old-fashioned and weird and you have to move on to be happy in life." Only they didnt quite come out and say it. Or they didnt say how to deal with it. I dont think they knew the extent of my isolation. How much help i really needed in order to get out. That is what i am calling caretaking. An emotional helping hand. But its like music. Its ephemeral but lasting in its effects.