My therapist taught me the unconditional love and acceptance we give others brings us more happiness than longing to get love and acceptance from others. When I saw the movie
Adaptation, there was a scene toward the end that made me think of what my T taught me. Maybe it applies to you, too. I keep it in mind whenever I feel others are not following the Golden Rule toward me. It really helps my mental outlook.
Quote:
Charlie Kaufman: There was this time in high school. I was watching you out the library window. You were talking to Sarah Marsh.
Donald Kaufman: Oh, God. I was so in love with her.
Charlie Kaufman: I know. And you were flirting with her. And she was being really sweet to you.
Donald Kaufman: I remember that.
Charlie Kaufman: Then, when you walked away, she started making fun of you with Kim Canetti. And it was like they were laughing at *me*. You didn't know at all. You seemed so happy.
Donald Kaufman: I knew. I heard them.
Charlie Kaufman: How come you looked so happy?
Donald Kaufman: I loved Sarah, Charles. It was mine, that love. I owned it. Even Sarah didn't have the right to take it away. I can love whoever I want.
Charlie Kaufman: But she thought you were pathetic.
Donald Kaufman: That was her business, not mine. You are what you love, not what loves you. That's what I decided a long time ago.
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That was a hard lesson for me to accept at first, but when it's put into action in real life, in a non-obsessive way, it brings a lot of peace and inner serenity.