So my Psychiatrist has been out of commission with her new baby for a few weeks now, and frankly, I'm starting to feel my ability to cope slowly winnowing away. I have been really struggling with the sleep thing, and have had to go through fairly severe inner-debates just to peel myself out of bed each morning. I'm tired all the time.

I miss my therapy. So much so, I'm actually considering medication until she comes back.

I am also in angry with myself mode. I get mad that I can't grasp the whole normalcy thing. I see my Husband hopping out of bed at 4AM every day, bright eyed and bushy tailed, and it induces my homocidal tendencies (kidding). I just envy anyone who can just get up and do things just like breathing, without having to go through a personal battle to motivate themselves to do anything.

My weight is out of control; and food is like an addiction. I think about it constantly.

I can't get pregnant; and my period started today, and it just makes me want to curl up and weep under my desk.

Everything is so freakin' disheartening! Is this all there is? Nothing goes right, there's no joy in anything, nothing to look forward to...

Augh.... I want therapy back. Can someone boot me in the butt please!!! I'm so afraid I'm going to dip down into 'that place' again.