"Sorry if my thoughts don’t make sense in this order. I sound like a teenager. A rebellious one. It’s dangerous." quote connect.the.stars

Actually, everything you have said make sense. You think that love means "obeying" but that is not the truth. You have normal feelings any young adult has that wants to be able to try making their own decisions too. The problem is that your parents have not learned how to "let go" of the parent role they played with you for so many years now. They need to realize they have to step back and allow you to make your own choices now and learn to let go of their habit of trying to think "for" you. What they are doing now is "pushing you away, but also depressing you as well", even your sister is doing that with you "unknowingly".

However, you are new at this yourself, you have not figured out how to best establish new boundaries with your parents where they let go and stop telling you what to think out of habit. I went through this at your age myself and to be honest with you, I ran away. It was not because I did not love my parents, it was because I needed to think for myself and they were intruding on that. I am not suggesting you run away like I did, but that is how bad it got for me and I did not know any other way to break the cycle that was oppressing me at the time.

Oh, I am very familiar with the line of questioning too. And that a parent is asking questions like that "to gain control" but unknowingly "and" its bordering on emotional blackmale too.

The frustration you are feeling is "normal", you want your own space and freedom and that has nothing to do with love or appreciating the help you get from them.

The creative outlets "did" help me a great deal. I took different art classes and voice lessons, I even became a lead singer in a band as when I took voice lessons my teacher told me a band was looking for a lead singer and that I should try out.

Actually you "can" live at home and learn how to be part of things "on your own" outside of your homelife. That is actually a good way to begin "self love" which basically comes from learning how to do for self.