Had my first appointment after re-referral today. Actually had the appointment with my previous psychiatrist. Despite the moaning I've historically done about her, she's one of my favourite psychs and is good at her job (I guess many of us can emphasise with the occasional and sometimes unjustified contempt for your pdoc). I was slightly less anxious to be seeing someone I know well.

Anyway. I've been prescribed Lamotrigine (Lamictal) and Mirtazipine which both need to be introduced to me gradually. Normally I'm awful at taking my meds regularly but the added fear of Steven Johnson Syndrome should encourage me to keep on schedule with taking the Lamotrigine, at least. I need to have some bloods taken before I start these new meds.

I was a bit saddened with my psych told me she was in fact leaving and I'd have a new psychiatrist next time I came in. I liked her and was beginning to trust her more and more. I find it incredibly hard to open up to people so my new psychiatrist will probably get fed false optimism by me until I feel comfortable enough to say how I really feel. It also be the first male psychiatrist I've ever had She told me she actually purposely wanted to see me before she left to get the ball rolling as it'll take a while to sort out the new psychiatrist.

Sorry for my overuse of "psychiatrist". Trying to not name drop. Confidentiality!

Not sure how I feel about it, I don't feel optimistic about any of it at this stage, Im still in the same position as before. I've come very close to impulsively acting on my sui thoughts, which are growing more intense each time. Hopefully something clicks into place before then. We also discussed me job and she agreed that a job with less social interaction would be better for me - a lot of face to face interaction can be very emotionally and, to an extent, physically draining to someone with autism and indeed a mood disorder.

Hope you're all well