Imah - George Carlin is the best. His social commentary was fascinating, a good laugh helps as well.

Moogieotter - I don’t get a choice where I go, I just end up at my local NHS psych unit. Private options are not a possibility due to the ridiculous expense. Insurance is a joke, answer the one question, “Do you have mental health issues?” Then get lumped in as high risk and refused.

Astridlovelight - I am sorry you understand. I used to rebuild with ferocity, but I have lost so much and made so many messes, been fired too many times. I just feel I can’t find that desire to risk it all again and the pain that comes with it. I am not sure what is the worse option the dull ache of a half life, or the sharp pain of everything being a ruined mess yet again.

I mostly just spend my time reading what others write here, but sometimes it feels a bit much. Because it is like so much similarity. Same frustrations, makes me think mental health is just not considered a high priority any where. It also seems like a science in its infancy, prone to many mistakes, medication has felt more like gambling and hoping to score big on ‘stability’ but instead end up landing on vomiting for 20 odd hours. I flat out asked my psychiatrist why there is no brain scan, so I can whip it out when ever someone accuses me of being lazy.

I don’t know what I want from posting here. I guess I am on a misguided hunt for relief or finding others that have come to grim acceptance and how they have come to cope, beyond just surviving one day at a time.

Thank you for responding, I wish you long lasting stability.