((((SandyWeb)))) I'm sorry. I've sort of had that happen to me - not the same event in the newspapers, but similar ones, and I know how horrible it feels. All the time you've tried to forget, and then it's thrown right in your face when you don't expect it!

I've never been great at coping with it, but maybe a distraction would help take your mind off the images and calm you down? Something you could get completely absorbed in, like a film or book.

I think you can...I've had a form of survivor's guilt because I wasn't directly involved in "my" event, thinking I had no right to be affected by it at all because nobody I knew had been hurt or killed, and everyone else in the same position as me seemed to be able to get on with their lives just fine. When I told my therapist, that, though, he said it's possible to be traumatised even just by reading something in a newspaper! You don't need to be directly involved to be affected.

Your life is not meaningless. I hope you feel better soon.