I don't think you are stupid. I think depression makes us think the worst about ourselves. I think you are a wonderful person dealing with an ugly illness.

I tried coming off my migraine meds over Christmas and guess what, I ended up having migraines. I don't like the side effects of my migraine med and antidepressant, but it is better to deal with the side effects than deal with migraines and depression.

When you feel like this you should seek help sooner rather than later. You are not a bad person, you are just dealing with a difficult and frustrating illness. Best wishes.