Jay, I like what CANDC suggested.

I hope you'll think this through and really consider checking into the hospital. You've talked about this in the other forum, so I know it's serious. When we've reached our maximum limit of stress, it's really important that we be willing to give in to the idea that sometimes we just can't do it all on our own, we need help. Maybe talk to your doctor(s) and whoever else is available to help to at least find out your options. I'm not familiar enough with your medical system to know exactly how it works. Take care and please come back tomorrow (that's in just a few hours your time) and tell us how you're feeling