My bf is a spankophile; I'm not, and I don't know what to do. I've been dating my bf for 2months, and known him for 2yrs, but have only found out about this recently. I am a kind person and dislike violence. I'm trying to be understanding bc I really love him. When he tried to give me a spanking, I broke down and cried.

Spanking is violent to me; I see it as a form of punishment, but I know I've been nothing but good to him and kind, generous and accepting that it hurts him bc he's never had anyone like that in his life. Growing up, getting hit was only for punishment from my parents, but always within limits. For him, spanking is a way to show his love for me. But I'm almost traumatized in knowing he finds pleasure in bringing me pain. And it hurts him so much to see me cry and hurt.

We're both so conflicted about it. He tried to put his fetish away, even though he never thought he'd be able to, but for me, it's different. I'm his first gf that he stops himself from spanking, even when I invite him to (I thought maybe I can build tolerance to it, starting from light smacks, but he can't do it bc he doesn't want to hurt me). I can tell it's not fair; he's unfulfilled in sex alone. I don't know what to do. The thought of getting hit again like that first time brings me to tears.

And this isn't really important, but I'm a TINY petite Asian girl, and he's white, muscular and HUGE compared to me, in all ways. He picks up heavy things almost 3 times my body weight. It doesn't take much for him to hurt me, so it happens even when he doesn't try to. But he's 100% committed to me, and loves me bc I take care of all the soft, docile needs in his life.