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Old Jan 08, 2015, 08:16 AM
summer327 summer327 is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by EventHorizon View Post
Imah - George Carlin is the best. His social commentary was fascinating, a good laugh helps as well.

Moogieotter - I don’t get a choice where I go, I just end up at my local NHS psych unit. Private options are not a possibility due to the ridiculous expense. Insurance is a joke, answer the one question, “Do you have mental health issues?” Then get lumped in as high risk and refused.

Astridlovelight - I am sorry you understand. I used to rebuild with ferocity, but I have lost so much and made so many messes, been fired too many times. I just feel I can’t find that desire to risk it all again and the pain that comes with it. I am not sure what is the worse option the dull ache of a half life, or the sharp pain of everything being a ruined mess yet again.

I mostly just spend my time reading what others write here, but sometimes it feels a bit much. Because it is like so much similarity. Same frustrations, makes me think mental health is just not considered a high priority any where. It also seems like a science in its infancy, prone to many mistakes, medication has felt more like gambling and hoping to score big on ‘stability’ but instead end up landing on vomiting for 20 odd hours. I flat out asked my psychiatrist why there is no brain scan, so I can whip it out when ever someone accuses me of being lazy.

I don’t know what I want from posting here. I guess I am on a misguided hunt for relief or finding others that have come to grim acceptance and how they have come to cope, beyond just surviving one day at a time.

Thank you for responding, I wish you long lasting stability.
I feel exactly the same as you...your words are exactly what goes on in my mind and body. I've been dealing with this my whole life, rebuilding then it hits me again and my life falls apart. I can't seem to find the strength either this time around. My father is supporting me right now and I feel so guilty because I know he wants to retire. I had a job that I liked, but the mania hit and then the darkest depression I've ever felt in my life this past April. Meds helped to an extent, but I can't seem to get to the point where I can handle normal everyday life. Hard to even go to the grocery store or visit a friend.
I hope the best for both of us. I feel your pain. It is nice to know I'm not alone, but I wish for you to find some peace.
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"You're only given a little spark of madness, you musn't lose it." -Robin Williams