Quote:
Originally Posted by hvert
Yeah, I can deal with people who don't respond to me, but not people who cancel all the time. I just wouldn't make plans with someone like that unless it was spontaneous, like she called me at 9 AM to have coffee at 9:30.
I also struggle with figuring out what is acceptable behavior from friends and family (and me) and what isn't. I think the trick really is just not taking it personally and not putting in more effort than the other person does.
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I think I only seem to attract people with whom I have to put in most of the effort when it comes to friendship, lol. I know...you teach people how to treat you. But in any group, I tend to be the natural leader (or organizer, or whatever) and so I think this is just the default with my friends. If I don't call/contact them, they just think I'm busy or not interested so I'll never hear from them spontaneously (of course, they'll always say "I was just thinking of you and wanting to get together!") And when we do make plans, they usually just defer to me to plan something for everyone. Like I said, I guess this is just the way it is...but sometimes it would be nice for people to call me up out of the blue. And this "role" I always seem to be in makes not taking the original issue personally more difficult.