Are you CERTAIN, that what you'll see after death will be pleasant?! Life is beautiful and it does have its ups and downs for sure, but laying down and giving up is just not the right option. I myself have suicidal thoughts, not to the degree of trying to commit one of them, but whenever I'm encountered by them, a simple funny video that could really make me laugh would throw those thoughts away. I'm not saying that you should only watch a video, but find any sort of distraction when you get these thoughts, better yet, go to therapy, and get an immediate help! I went discreetly to therapy and it did help, not with meds, but with simply me laying thoughts off my brain. Try talking out loud in private about what bothers you, it'll help.

I feel as rejected as you, I got bullied A LOT, I lock myself up, I'm completely not interested in people for many reasons, but never once thinking between me and myself that I should just commit suicide or hurt myself.

Again I'll say this, death might not simply be an eternal sleep, what you or any of us will face after death might not be pretty, so why are you so anxious to throw yourself into oblivion? I'm not scaring you, all I'm saying is to THINK before you choose. One wrong decision might or will eternally hurt you.