Thank you for that beautiful analogy. I understand that there is much I don’t know in the world because of my age. I haven’t experienced enough of the world to say I know how it all works. I have taken and will continue to take heed of the caution signs people throw to the wind about entering the “real” world. I hope others who have qualms about this can read your story and understand that we must be the ones to build ourselves up, not seek to rely on other people if we want to obtain independence.

I think there are a couple of items that I can clarify about myself that don’t seem to suggest I am not ready for the responsibility of being on my own. While I attended college and I lived on my own for 4 years, not once have I ever gotten in trouble for anything. I was not the type to party, did not drink, did not skip classes, and did not step out of line. I was the person who never had fun. I did everything by the book. I planned out every single semester of classes for my entire four years to make sure I was on track to graduate with every credit I needed. I managed my coursework fairly well, did not fail any courses, and only had a few late assignments if ever. I secured a lease and shared an apartment with a roommate for three years (while learning how to maintain respectful boundaries). I cooked for myself, cleaned the apartment, mailed the rent check every month, bought/sold furniture, and paid all my PG&E bills. I didn’t have a car or bike, I just utilized busses and trains to get to where I needed to go. Since the beginning of freshman year, I worked part-time and accumulated savings. I budgeted all my spending. The only things I could not afford to pay on my own were tuition and rent. Everything else, textbooks, groceries, train fares, I paid for on my own. I don’t splurge. I don’t overspend. My mom still has oversight on my accounts “just in case” but she’s never had to bail me out of trouble for anything. I’m currently repaying my student loans. I work as an accountant.

I can’t think of anything I’ve done wrong that has shown that I am not capable of living on my own.

?

I don’t intend to live with a guy when I move out. I am not dating anyone or looking to date anyone. It would be amazing if I could just have my own place to regenerate myself. But rent in the city is always so expensive. $2,000/month for a tiny one-bedroom apartment is ridiculous!

As for being creative, I am never going to be a writer. Or an artist. It’s just not within the parameters of what my life is destined to be. I can be creative on occasion, but I certainly don’t have what it takes to step into that industry and make money off of it. It’s more of a hobby. Not my means to an end.

I liked how you mentioned I need to show that I can survive on my own. I agree I need to look for places to fly to. My fear is that I will only choose to do activities that my parents approve of. Such as going to a café to study. I really need to be studying. It sounds just as ominous as lying on my bed. But I need to DO things. I will figure out an activity to do. I guess I should start with cleaning my room. At least then my parents can visually see the progress.