Hi everybody,
I'm not sure what would be my question here, but.. its something about my parents being addicted to DENIAL.
I am 32, my sister 36, and we live in this house with our aging parents, without having relationships (girlfriend / boyfriend). My parents reject every change in the house. When I had a girlfriend, I felt like the strangest person in the world. I felt like I emotionally betrayed my parents, like I've broken some emotional contract. Sounds like some deep codependency, enmeshment.
Now even if I am having plans to find a job in other country, I'm having these emotional issues of betrayal, I feel so emotionally blackmailed, like they are discarding me from their / our family circle. Our independence was always forbidden subject.
Now, what this has to do wit the denial. Well, only recently I've started to connect my feelings with reality and perceptions. I was taught to discard my feelings, that all my feelings were wrong and that I cannot trust them. Now when I am starting to reconnect to my feelings and my perceptions, to honor that, my family makes me crazy all the time.
Whenever I say that 2+2 equals 4, they create this fog of words, make problems where there is no, they avoid those kind of direct discussions, they can speak only about the weather or food or some irrelevant things just to manipulate again my perception and lead the discussion into confused direction.
My father is an Adult Child of Alcoholic, and I follow that sub-forum, but my mother went so much into.. I don't know how to call it... is it codependency? ..that she lost her connectedness with reality. She goes to church where are only 20 people 60+ with the same opinions, and she is more turned to death than to life.
"Denial of reality" I would call all of this.
I just can't detect what holds my sister and me so stuck in time. Time is passing and we are getting old (physically). But under our facial lines you could see that we are still 17-18 years old.

My question would be, is these such a thing called "Emotional Drug - Denial"?
If someone see an eyeopener in this text, please post your opinion.
PS: Sorry for my English.
Thanks