He was my first love, and I've only recently realized that I'm thinking more and more about him. Most likely because he was the only guy to go on to be my boyfriend....

He was my first, in more ways than one...and because of that, he is special to me. He even went so far as to introduce me to his family...but then he grew distant...stop complementing me, stop saying "I love you". He claims that people change...but it was him who changed...really. He was a nice enough guy, kept me as his GF til after Valentine's day...which is decent, I guess. But all the same, he wanted to break up. He initiated the break up. I just went along because I wanted him to be happy.

He said he wanted to be good friends after we broke up..but that didn't last long. He stopped calling, stopped coming over to hang out...stopped talking to me on Facebook...

We haven't spoken in nearly 2 and a half years now....I admit, I'm scared to even look at his relationship status. I'm afraid of how I'll react. I'm insanely jealous sometimes...and do crazy things when that jealousy arises...

He's probably married by now. Or at least in another relationship....as I suspect was the reason he stopped talking to me. I guess....a part of me still holds him close as the special someone who first told me he loved me, first touched me in ways no other man has touched me....before or since...and was the one who took my virginity....

Am I still in love with him? Even if that is so, what difference does it make, we had our chance and he's made it clear he doesn't want to speak to me anymore. I often wonder if I was just a rebound girl for him....he did say he had been engaged to be married at one point before meeting me.

Maybe....I was never really more than a means to forget. To move on. And when he moved on successfully, he had no need of me anymore. I loved him. I truly did, but.....did he ever really love me?