you didnt ruin anything, what happens happens for whatever reasons maybe you need to get away from your boyfriend for awhile, i know that sounds harsh but maybe a hospital stay would get you back on course in your life. sometimes we just need an adjustment to our lifestyle, like 3 meals a day, exercise, and other help a hospital can give. that is how i saw it after a hospital stay where my meds were adjusted and when i left there i felt great!!!