i know it is hard to get over some of the things mentioned in your post, i was in a few relationships that were like that, ended up all of the bad ones by having to leave in the end, once with police escort from my ex, my sons father. he taped conversations in the living room when he wasnt there and just treated me like his punching bag, emotionally and pshysically. If i were you i would leave but that is just my opinion, kind of harsh but you can ask for more out of life and not walk on eggshells, which i know what that is like too.he plays on guilt and shame and you put up with it. maybe he has his own mental problems but you don't have to be his savior, he needs help.Good luck