Hi l_l,

Like gayle says, it's a good choice to get help. I am no expert on all the resources that might be available to you, but I'll share what I can. Do you have health insurance? If you do, go to their website and find out about the mental health benefits you are entitled to. On some plans you have to call and get what they call a Mental Health Authorization or a Behavioral Health Authorization. They also might have a preferred network of psychiatrists or what we call "pdocs" these are the actual medical doctors who can properly evaluate your symptoms and if needed prescribe medication for you.

You can also be evaluated by a psychologist, someone with a Master's or PHD in psychology. They will be able to recommend therapy and other treatments, but the actual prescribing of medication is exclusive to a pdoc, or in some states a Nurse Practitioner.

I recommend a full at least one hour evaluation with a pdoc who has great credentials, like a national prestigious medical school degree and or board certifications. Maybe even one who specializes in bipolar if that's what you are leaning towards. During this evaluation, you will need to be objective and forth coming about your life and medical history, family history, current thoughts and patterns. I would also include a complete and thorough and truthful explanation of your substance abuse history, including your precise and truthful use of alcohol. Being honest and open will get all the facts into the hands of the professional who is making your diagnosis. Failure to get a clear picture of what is going on with you might result in a bad misdiagnosis, and you could be chasing your tail for years or decades to get an effective treatment.

I would be wary of anyone who thinks they can evaluate and diagnose you in a basic screening session of less than an hour. You can go to a facility and get a quick evaluation, usually by an entry level master's degree intake person, but to me this is risky.

If you do get a clear diagnosis and treatment plan, do your absolute best to follow it to the letter, ie taking all medications exactly as prescribed, doing any therapy that is recommended, including books to read and exercises to try. If it's not working or you want to change something up, call your pdoc and get a recommendation and get your file updated with exactly what's going on.

To me, that's decent starting advice. Now if you do not have insurance and cannot afford to pay cash for what I suggested above, that's a whole different ball game that I do not have experience with. Someone else on here can probably speak to that.

Please keep posting and we'll keep sharing to help you. Best of luck,

moogs