I think it is up to each individual to define what failure and success means to them. If you can strip out all of societies expectations and definitions, family and parental expectations and definitions, and really define it for yourself that is a good thing. Very difficult to do because all those influences are ingrained in us. It is up to us to decide with values, beliefs, morals, and ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving work for us. If there are things we don't like in those areas how hard have we worked to change them. Maybe by all definitions my life is an abject failure but I truly helped one person along the way. That might make it a success. Letting other help me and me helping others is pretty important to me even if it is not in the form of volunteering for every organization out there.