Coming out of depression, but at times not. Dad seems to be making it through this flu, (has one and a third of a lung) but he hints that its not quite better. I know. I know it doesn't get all better. I asked about another blind horse that needs a home, he said "I can't handle that, and I don't know what is going to happen to me"., I said "sorry, but I was being selfish and looking for a riding horse for me"... ohh he said, too much worry for him. I wish things were different and I could get that car, any old car would do, so I could be out there helping him. The horses needed cleaner water, but I won't tell my dad what to do. He'd hate that. It is not as he says "a stupid hobby", it is what keeps him alive and kicking. I know he loves his hobby, but I'm also selfish and don't want to see it go. I don't want to see him go. It's become one of my favourite things to do the past few summers. Riding wouldn't likely be a good idea now with my problems, but heck, I'd ride fast and wouldn't give a crap right now... sorry, just upset with my health issues and venting. All seems a dream, and I feel like the good ones are ending. As much crap as there was in the past, I just want some good times now. It is stormy, cant get out... blah why do I live here again?