I'm in a low level depression that sometimes spikes to dangerous depths. The other night I had a sudden urge to die and I was thinking of what I could use and I felt desperate. It cleared up before I did anything obviously but the fact it can be so sudden is frightening. It's tied into the anxiety and the worse the anxiety is, the more chance the depression will go through the roof too. The only thing that's helping is a combination of benadryl and hydroxyzine for the anxiety but I don't have enough to get me through the next few months, I don't think. I'll just have to see how it goes and hope for things to get better. I'm scared.