I think you need to identify what real love is. When we are abused we often were not shown real caring love for lack of better words. We sometimes get attracted to those who don't show us love and then we reenact our relationship with our loved ones who did not treat us right. Through therapy and self help books, seminars, and talking about it we can relearn what true love is and or how we really should be treated. I mean we should be treated lovingly and cared about. I hope you will stay with your spouse who is treating you right or seek therapy to work out whatever is bothering you. I don't know exactly why you want out. I do know, though, that we deserve good treatment. We shouldn't have to try to make people love us. I think the behaviour we exhibit of trying to make people treat us right and love us is a sort of acting out what happened in our past. Try and think logically about what you need and want in a relationship and incorporate that into your belief system. That is what the goal of therapy should be, too. I, too, went through trying to make a man treat me better. When I look back at it I was in a lot of pain all the time and reliving my childhood of looking for love or someone to show they really cared and I never got it from him. I didn't get it then (but deserved love) but I do deserve love and concern now and my goal is to find a man who will show me honesty, love, concern, committment and perseverence. We deserve the best even if we did not get it in our past. Sometimes we are frightened by real concern because it is unfamiliar and doesn't feel like the "love" (those who we were raised by did not show us real love) we had in childhood. Our childhoods often did not contain real caring or committment or kindness. The word love has so many meanings, I think I should leave it out and just describe what a relationship needs: caring, committment, kindness, concern, loyalty, and more good things. I think you would benefit from counseling that will help you accept what is good for you and not what is bad for you. It could help you not to run from those who are good to you, too. I became afraid of relationships because I did what you did, too. Now I am looking for someone who really cares and I know it will be hard for me because I tend to do the same thing. It was so painful when I look back. I haven't had a significant other in years but I want to be treated good and accept that, too. The thought of it is scary to me, too. I'm going to work on it in therapy, too. Good luck to you and best wishes that you are treated very well.