I've done that... multiple times. My parents MADE me go to the last one after I tied killing myself. I find the sessions to be of little to no help. I mostly kept going for a bit because it made my mom feel better, but eventually it seemed like a waste of time and money to continue to go.

I guess I should have posed a non-rhetorical question with that post...

What the hell am I supposed to do with myself at this point?

I feel like I'm stuck in a cycle that proliferates itself. I'm NOT going to do things I don't want to. Or continue with things that don't work for me. I mean, I have trouble following through with things I LIKE doing.

I can accept that not everyone gets to be happy in life... I mean, it's probably more likely that more people are unhappy than are. But if I accept that fact, then what exactly is the point of even trying? I mean, is it worth it to be around if all you get to do is constantly struggle and suffer?

Is there some way out of this other than doping myself up? I'm very much against taking medication.

Counselors and whatnot haven't done much for me. They all seem to be saying the same thing, and within all those words they really seem to say nothing at all.

I just feel like there isn't any way out of this for me and I should just give up and stop trying to do anything. Just stop talking to everyone and become a shut in for the rest of my years. And whenever I finally die, it will be weeks before anyone even notices and there won't be anyone at the funeral. Or there is the alternative to waiting... but I mde a friend a promise that I wouldn't hurt myself anymore. I would have to make her hate me and never want to speak to me again before I did anything to myself again, but 'm not ready to lose that friendship.