Its like dealing with a whole bunch of conflicting thoughts and negative emotions. Kind of makes me reluctant to get out of my room(parent's rm, as its quieter and safer) to do anything. The moment i step out to my living room or kitchen i felt like im gonna be observed and i could hear sounds from neighbor that can trigger my anxiety and anger, and i have a feeling they can hear wat i say, so sometimes i am forced to talk softly in a way that nobody outside can hear.

At one occassion when i was in a bad mood, talking to my mum in the living rm, a group of little teenagers passed by, "pouring salt into wounds", imitating my voice followed by some soft laughter. Theres also similar instances/experiences, like some random "clap", crying sounds, which nearly made me went to approach them.

These were also partly traced back to the year long fiery dispute between my family n these inconsiderate bunch of neighbours which recently spilled over to me during my low period when my emotions got out of control, i became their easy target to pick on, got into some trouble, institutionalized, and then they proceed to spread ugly rumors abt me to their friends, to the neighborhoood, town, such that their slanderous acts made me an enemy in the eyes of people thanks to their high n mighty, self righeous ways.

im currently being put on meds to manage my emotions, while my parents r trying to sort out the process of relocating to another town.

Cant wait to see the therapist again, its just a few days away and there is this weekend to endure.