It is very different and difficult with MI than a physical ailment from my experience. I have an artificial hip which was replaced when I was twenty. If I was in pain and decided last minute that I didn't want to go out dancing with friends, they easily accepted it and wished me well. However, backing out do to a mood swing was not accepted. My friend would try to talk me down from whatever swing I was on so I could never admit how I felt. It was embarrassing, frustrating, and shaming. To admit to being depressed would lead to question: why? No one accepts the true answer: I don’t know. To admit that I'm so filled with rage led to the same question: why. No one can understand that there is no reason for it. Everyone thinks that talking about it will fix the problem because in their life, that’s how it works. If they are sad about something or angry, they could discuss with a friend and feel better. That isn't how it works for me. Talking make is worse.

Then there are the happy up's: when I love the world and everyone in it. Being that euphoric does not elicit as many questions. Once that feeling fades though, and I no longer want to be a part of things I so passionately agreed to do is just as hard and embarrassing to explain.

Like you said: it’s an invisible illness. It is very real though. I have long ago accepted my dx and no longer feel guilty. I didn’t ask for this and I don’t expect other people to understand.