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Originally Posted by magical loser
as long as i can remember i've always had some obsession with something...
i will obsess over the thing and pretty much ignore everything else, then after a few weeks/months/years i'll drop it completely and forget about it when a new obsession comes along.
i have some reccurring obsessions (getting sick of that word now lol) like reading and drawing, which i will spend A LOT of time on then just not bother for months or years then come back to it.
...a lot of the time they do interfear with my life
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Quote:
Originally Posted by magical loser
the emotions... i cant quite figure out, there is a great deal of frustration and been annoyed at it but underneath there is probably some exitement or joy, its really hard to tell!
...i've been called mentally unfit for work because im incapable of getting on with people in the proper way (same for college). i am totally socially inept, i have no social life, when i talk to people i always say/do the wrong things, not sure how to act in certain situations and cannot keep eye contact ans sometimes my mind wanders and im not listening. im so ignorant nobody wants to have anything to do with me but i cant help it it just happens. so now i dont bother trying.
im not really bothered by it tho because i dont feel i need it. i find it a lot easier to write things, tho i still find it hard to describe how i feel etc, to find the write words, its really frustrating because i know what im feeling and what i mean but i just dont know how to put it into words and get the point across...
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Quote:
Originally Posted by magical loser
oh and i accumulate a lot of knowledge but its mostly all completely useless and i forget most of it after a while anyway. so what im left with is bits about everything but nothing i can really do much with  |
In summation, you have obsessive interests or fixations, have trouble maintaining social relationships, and accumulate (sometimes impractical) knowledge for knowledge's sake, have trouble maintaining eye contact and communicating in social situations, and difficulty controlling your finances.
And these things go all the way back to your childhood.
I'm curious, have you ever been tested for Autism Spectrum Disorder? The ways you describe yourself sound almost exactly like me before I was diagnosed with Asperger's. Not that I don't do all that stuff now, but having the diagnosis and learning appropriate coping mechanisms has helped tremendously.
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Sometimes insanity is a perfectly sane reaction to an insane situation.