i am so sorry you had such crappy parents. just describing it made me flash back to my own father so i really was able to feel for you. i stay away from people and relationships myself because of it. but i have discovered most people are not like my dad.

i work in an office and i am terrified of getting in trouble. i make it my goal to be perfect so i do not get in trouble. everybody is very kind at work. i wont lie though. occassionally my boss has come unglued and inappropriately "yelled" at me. it hasnt been often and it has only been when she is very stressed out. she hasnt really raised her voice. i just take it that way because of my past. but the thing is, once it is done it is done. she lets it go and it is over. she is no longer mad. sometimes she even apologizes. so it really isnt a horrible thing. i have learned to credit it more to her stress than anything i have done so i dont take it personally.

i have discovered there are very few mean people out there in the world. a couple, but not as many as i thought. give it a chance. you will see you have more support than you imagined.