no no sorry I misspelled, I'm not afraid that he could hurt me (actually I'm more scared that I could hurt him :c), I'm afraid for him, he's 10 y/o already and has been paralyzed twice, because of serious accident which he had about 6-7 years ago and a few months ago when he jumped he got this again.. vet said that he can't jump and run, but he loves it like probably every boxer so I'm worried all the time :c

probably in my case it's kind of flashback too, I've been yelled at when I didn't wanted to go to church with family, called names and so on, back then I didn't care, but probably it hid somewhere in my mind, and blow up when anxiety disorder came .__.

yeah hope that I could get T which could come to my flat, with heavy agoraphobia I can't even imagine how I could go there, alone, it's about 30-40 min by bus from my place.. but probably therapy in home won't be possible..
Yeah exactly! I don't know what I would do if I wouldn't find PC, here people have understanding through experience, but also want to help others which is something new to me (my pdoc seems to not really care, on other site nobody cared, it was like 'my problems are the most important, don't care about yours' type of forum) and probably lifesaving, writing here really helps..

virtual hugs won't replace real hugs but it's nice too actually I prefer virtual hugs nowadays, I want someone to hug me in real life too, but when my friends do I don't feel comfortable :c