Thanks guys!
We talked tonight, I followed Bill's advice, apologized and didn't get into my stuff, and that felt just right to me. As it turns out she wasn't upset or put off by my questions in the initial conversation, and said she's expected as much from her friends. She said considers this to be the time she needs to ask herself those kinds of questions, and I wasn't the only one who had that reaction. I'm glad that she didn't take offense, but I still felt guilty; as a recovering codependent I'm working to be less presumptuous and judgmental, and not to give unsolicited opinions/advice.
I think in the future if I feel a compulsive reaction like that rising up, I will slow down and ask her (or any friend) what she's looking for; a listening ear? A sounding board? Etc.
Thanks again!!