I was dx with bipolar disorder Dec. 2nd. After taking medicine, I gained a lot of weight in a month. I took a BMI calculator and it said I'm overweight. I want to lose weight. I want to be less. It feels so good to starve and I stopped taking my medicine. (Mainly because I couldn't get a refill because I haven't seen the new doctor yet...so I'm like forget it). People tell me I look swollen and pregnant. I'm so embarrassed. I'm scared I have an eating disorder developing but I really don't want help because I want to be smaller.