Well, I don't want to change who I am, no. But I would like to be able to do something with myself... the problem is, I don't know what. I can't even choose anything. I can never BE anything or DO anything for too long before I lose interest. ESPECIALLY if it's only for myself. I tend to stick to projects and such a little longer if it's my firend's thing, for example. She had a dance team, and I would hel her train her girls. On my own, I don't really bother doing much because it doesnt matter enough to me. Or in a nand I had with my other friend. I would make music with him, because it was his thing... on my own, nothing. Not because I think I can't, it just doesn't matter if its just for me. But floundering lke this is going to leave e alone and with nothing... and very soon. I mean, I'm not getting any younger. I am basically in the same position as some 18 and 19 year olds... only with a decade more years on her.

I don't want to be anyone else.. not mentally at least (there are physical things i'd like changed but thats another issue altogether). I LIKE being me. I just don't like where being me is headed.

It's kindof like asking for the party without the hangover, huh?