Hello, I'm new to this forum thing, never done this before, but I figured it may help getting advice, and input from others who share this horrible illness. I suffer from bipolar disorder and severe ADHD. I am also a semi recovering opiate addict... About 3 years ago I was diagnosed with the ADHD at the age of 22. I was on Lamictal for my bipolar and my psychiatrist prescribed me 2, 30mg Adderall a day. I was also using opiates at the time. About 6 months ago I quit taking my Lamictal BC well first, I was bruising really bad, and second because taking 60mg of amphetamines a day mixed with opiates of COURSE I felt great, who wouldn't? So I thought I was cured! Haha boy was I wrong... Stopping the Lamictal mixed with the adderall sent me to this crazy, manic episode, that I didn't realize at the time. I felt invincible, went to the casino by myself a lot, was a little promiscuous, and just did a lot of dumb **** I normally wouldn't do. Then my doctor prescribed me xanax. He didn't know I had quit taking my Lamictal, I just told him I was having severe anxiety... Obviously, amphetamines/adderall is going to make your heart race...anyways my big, long, manic episode ended with me having a grand maul seizure and almost dead, I had blood on my brain and couldn't breathe on my own...I somehow survived with no brain damage...the seizure was a result of xanax withdrawal. Needless to say, its been a hard road to recovery. Doc took away my adderall, and xanax of course. Now he has me on 200mg seroquel and 30 mg Vyvanse. I'm for the most part feeling better each day that goes by, but mistakes I made during my manic episode has destroyed the trust my boyfriend had for me. I stole from him, lied to him, cheated on him...but I'm back to myself now, really trying to make our relationship work but he ALWAYS brings up the past...I can't blame him but when he's yelling about the poor choices I've made I feel stuck... anyone with advice on how I can make my boyfriend understand my disease BC he's my rock, I love him and can't lose him. Thanks for your time and input