haier,

I hope that you've listened to the advice that you've gotten in here & have avoided seeing or talking with your ex.

It's my somewhat educated opinion that he is sick. It sounds like he knows that he can coerce you into doing things that aren't in your best interest. With the past, you simply cannot judge that he is being completely honest and is actually able to remain unabusive. Your personal well-being is in jeopardy ~ it is not worth it!!

I am sorry that part of you wants to believe him, still loves that part of him that you once knew. I am sure that it is very difficult to let go of that. Continue working with your therapist. Be honest and open, so you can work through these tough issues. Please do continue with your divorce as well.

Gentle hugs to you and your daughters.