I wish I had some advice, but I'm currently struggling myself. I do want you to know that I read your update, and I do hope for the best for you. You're right in thinking it's not the best idea. I hope you can find a treatment plan that works for you.
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Love is..
a baby smiling at you for the first time
a dog curling up by your side...
and your soulmate kissing your forehead
when he thinks you're sound asleep
OSFED|MDD/PPD|GAD|gender dysphoria|AvPD