i dont know if this is how you feel, but what i get from you post is wanting to identify because i know what it is like to feel like i dont really exist in this world. guys never pay attention to me, im never noticed, it shocks me when someone remembers my name. ive wanted to die since i was five. ive made a nice life for my self not existing though. i work behind the scenes. i do good things. i help others. it makes me feel good. i dont feel the need to be recognized. im ok with not connecting anymore. im ok alone. ive made peace with it. find something that makes you happy. people cant take that away from you. not everything ive discovered.