I also do not have T next week. T always takes of the same holidays that the schools do. I guessed she has sch age children or grandchildren I'm thinking more.

I was at work this morning listening to the voice saying to her "why are you leaving me? why are you abandoning me?" I think I will actually say that to her on fridays session because I'm really not sure of what one or two words she will reply with that will make it all fit. I mean I know shes not leaving me but I need it framed in a way I can use. Shes pretty good at saying stuff in a way that works for me.

I can feel the downhill fall now toward the lonnnnnnnnnnng sumer break. 6 weeks!! This will be the 3rd yr I've had this lonnnnnnnng break and it still feels just as hard. Maybe I need to go back and read my journals from that time and see what I wrote??? But I don't think I had started writing journals at that time.

I think the only difference this yr is firstly I am going to take something from her office as a transistional object and secondly I'm going to ask her if its ok for me to email her half way through??? this time last yr neither of those questions would I have had the guts to mutter.

so I guess the breaks still hurt but I'm starting to be more pro-active and do and ask for things that I need??? maybe???