I'm reading some American sites and many recommend not to tell someone who has dementia that they have it! The concept is foreign to me. It's scary that people would go behind your back like that.

Reason why I wonder is I have a long time Internet friend from USA. The last 7 years or so have been a steady decline. He doesn't do much for himself anymore, his family or care worker do everything. They don't really let him go on his own when they shop or eat out. They take his money and pay his bills. They keep track of his appointments.

Thing is he thinks he has no diagnosis concerning his loss of cognitive abilities, memory loss and confusion. I used to think he was right and I was surprised no doctor, because he visits one regularly, ever brought up these things with him. Might it be that they already have him diagnosed and keeping it a secret? Is that common in USA?

He has forgotten almost everything from the past 10 years. He doesn't remember friends he chats with daily, anymore. I've noticed if I say something wrong by accident it doesn't matter, an hour later he has forgotten everything I said. He can't recall what he has done the same day, let alone the day before. He used to be good at fixing things but now he can't fix the easiest things.

His speech is sort of stereotypical now, it's like he tries to hide that he doesn't understand any of the conversation by just basically repeating the last someone said. If he makes an effort he can talk more for real but it only lasts so long. Also he acts like a child and throws tantrums (He is 55+).

Since he lives with family I can't wonder how they fail to see this. Are they in denial too or do they know what is going on? Surely loved ones must notice if you don't remember what was said 5 minutes ago and fail to complete simple tasks? IDK.

If they know something is going on I feel it's very unfair not to tell me. I'm one of his last Internet friends, most couldn't take that he changed, and also we spoke daily for 15 years so I consider myself a close friend.

Maybe this is more about relationships but I don't know where this post belongs.

Any input would be nice. Does anyone have experience of someone having dementia and not being told?