Hi,

This is another post about my the toxic relationship which I have with my parental family members. Sorry to be so repetitive. In an effort to give myself some space to heal and detoxify the relationship with my parents I have been telephoning them less frequently. Also, I now disclose nothing of significance about my life. Horrid as this will sound these steps have had a positive effect on my mood. It used to take me a full week to stop ruminating over the previous telephone conversation, only to repeat the process the following weekend. My parents were upset initially by this, but they quickly adjusted. Recently another family member has begun sending unsolicited text messages. The content of those messages are normally quite innocent. But I had a tough time with this particular family member in the past, I don't want to bore people with the details but the relationship was toxic. I have given this particular family member second, third, etc. chances in the past. I now value the space that I have created between myself and my parental family. I feel that this contact encroaches on my space, and brings back upsetting memories. Also it feels like another way of controlling me. If I don't reply they will go into a mock panic through fear something "bad" has happened to me. I don't want to upset my family members, so I prefer to reply and be polite. But how can I lesson this intrusion? I would really welcome some advice. I'm so bad at setting boundaries both with my family members and elsewhere in my life. Not sure I will ever learn how to do it effectively.