I hate my birthday. I don't want to celebrate it. I never asked to be born- why do I have to celebrate something I don't care about. (yes- I am sort of depressed right now)

My husband said I need to pretend at least for the night bc of our kids. They love birthdays and celebrating them. I know he is right and that I need to suck it up for a few hours, but it still sucks.

22 years ago on my birthday I came home from work and instead of going to dinner my parents took me to a mental hospital for depression. I had written in my diary that on my birthday I was going to end my life and on advice from my pdoc they had read it.

When I am in a better mood I celebrate my birthday as a proud moment- that I have overcome so much. But in this current mood my birthday just pisses me off.