I sent him an email asking for a copy of the agenda and the names of the people I'm meeting with. According to my friend, he only has her and her boss on the invite for 90 minutes, no agenda - and she can't be there long because she has another meeting. This is very different from the conversations I was having with him before the holidays, when he had a bunch of people he wanted me to meet or interview with.

The example the soccer coach gave is really interesting! That is very much how I think - and my BF agreed that men would know who that one person was. He was astounded that I agree women think this way - he thought it was a misogynistic comment about women making everything about themselves.

Few women would send out an email like your piano teacher, too. I can't believe he put 'most' instead of 'all!'

I think you're right, that the abundant confidence means that they don't worry about whether or not they will find another job. I don't think the question of finding another job even occurred to my BF. He wasn't in dire straits and could easily afford to make that choice at that moment, but I am pretty sure he would have done the same thing anyway.

I do think back to that example frequently, just to remind myself that I don't have to put up with BS. Life can work out just fine even if you say no to mean people. I think it works out even better, really.

I would be pretty disappointed that the team is hiring new people when there's not enough work as it is... and if you don't have a portfolio yet and have some dead time at work, well, that sounds like a match made in heaven

I also have that problem where I can see where other people are coming from. It would be fine if everyone else were that way, but most people aren't, so I just wind up feeling sort of annoyed that no one has the same consideration for me as I have for them.

Do you think your boss is manipulating you when you are upset and he starts talking about his problems that aren't really your problems? I guess I have had a bad feeling about him since that synergy comment. He's probably getting yelled at by his boss because he's incompetent - which isn't really an excuse for yelling, but it would be nice if someone recognized his performance issues and helped him get back on the right track.

I think I am getting better at shutting down my 'feel sorry' feelings. It's such a long process and it makes me feel like I am being too mean, insensitive, and selfish. At the same time, it's really freeing in some ways. I've found that if I am doing things because I feel sorry for someone, the resentment just builds up until it bursts. It's just so much nicer to catch it sooner - I can stop doing stuff I don't want to do, and if the relationship isn't going to go anywhere, might as well admit to that now.

But I still do it. My friend has been saying some negative things about the person I've been dealing with. She said something about how his not sending out an agenda was yet another example of why he shouldn't be responsible for this role - and my first thought was, wow, maybe I've been too negative about this guy, I don't want to get him in trouble!