[QUOTE=Desafinado;

Since that time, and the later episodes, my life has been tinged with a mild level of paranoia: my mind always strings together random events into narratives that I have to self identify as delusional. So I like to keep my brain slowed down with sedative teas, and avoid social situations that have 'too much going on'.

Moreover, I've found that time itself has been the best healer. It's now been 5 years since my last episode, and as time passes the life I experienced the episodes in feels like a completely different, past life, and I gradually become more disconnected from it (or at least I try to).[/QUOTE]

Thanks SO much for starting this thread. You managed to state something that I have felt, but could not put into words. I feel exactly this way!!! My last BBBBBAD episode was just over two years ago, but it took my brain nearly 9 most (or more) to recover. I felt so alone, so disconnected, so sad and empty during the recovery. Now, I know the person who experienced that horror was me, but I have filed much of my connectedness to it in the "do not open!" drawer in my brain. I know that another episode may be inevitable but I certainly hope that any of the self-inflicted types of episodes that have been in my past will be avoided in the future. I have been trying really hard to take good care of myself.

To comment directly about your topic...I have found that in order to recover from an episode, I realize that the number one thing you need is patience. Secondly, time. And finally, outstanding self-care. I tried to use the opposite-action approach. If I felt like melting into the couch or my bed, I forced myself up and to move around. I would also force myself to get my shoes on and go outside (this was so hard). There were days where a shower seemed like the most excruciating process, but I forced myself. I guess just knowing that you have to find the strength within you, even when you are at your weakest is a necessity to recovery, too.

I have only had one horrrrrrendous episode fortunately, but every day was a fight for my life. I have had numerous moderate/severe episodes and the recovery recipe was the same, it just didn't take every ounce of energy i had left to give...the lighter the episode, the less energy it takes to recover in my opinion.