You say you were in a car accident and are now hesitant of driving? While you say you don't consider that traumatic enough, any, trauma can set off a lot of doubts and present anxiety issues. It seems like you go from thinking about scenarios where you have no control, to having a lot of motivations that give you a sense of control.

The other thing you are going through at 15 is a lot of hormonal changes too. Some teens have a harder time adjusting to that process than others do. Homones that are up and down can really challenge an individual a great deal. For males these hormonal levels are changing a lot to where around age 18 the male is at the height of his libedo
and then that slowly levels out after that. Also, your brain is not fully developed right now either, especially the area of the brain that involves decision making, which doesn't fully develop until around age 25. So right now it is normal to not really know or see who you are going to be in life or have a solid direction either. Right now you are learning and gathering information together in school too, your brain "is" learning how to learn and slowly developing skills as well. Even though it may seem others around you know who they are and are confident, they are not, they struggle as well. And most your age are very narcissistic because they are still very much in their own heads/universe and trying to figure out more about interacting with others and gaining some kind of "sense of control" and sense of "identity" as well as "heightened awareness".

So, you need to understand that a lot of your emotional challenges are normal for your age and to try to "relax" instead of thinking you have to really know who you are or how worthy you are because that is not going to be coming into the picture for some time "yet".

A lot of the movies put out are directed at your age group too, and these movies often depict charectors who have a lot more "self awareness and confidence" then the typical teenager actually has. The reason movies and a lot of entertainment is directed to your age group is because it is known that this is the age group that is spending money to see these movies. Unfortunately, most of these movies have a lot of violence and can also be very graphic and now have technology in them that is extremely visually stimulating, much more so than when I was your age and going to movies. For example the latest Hobit movie is nothing but violent the entire movie, nothing but constant fighting in it which IMHO, is just not good for the young mind your age to be exposed to, much too graphic and stimulating. A movie like that tends to activate "hyper aware" and too much "hyper aware" is just not healthy.

People my age wonder why there seems to be so much more violence in our youth today, and the depression levels are also higher then before. I think it is time to finally realize what we are exposing this age group to that IMHO is leading to these challenges.
It is no wonder someone like you has these intrusive thoughts.

One thing that may help you alot is going to the Library and finding some classic Novels to read that contain information that will encourage your mind into developing thoughts and knowledge and thinking that is invaluable to your personal growth. Also what helps is finding a hobby or activity that you can be involved in that develops skill building and learning how to better understand the commitment to skill building where you experience gains as you practice doing something. I did that for my daughter where she got involved with learning how to ride horses and compete, she learned how to "fail" and resolve that failure to try harder and practice more to where the next competition she did better. She learned about understanding commitment, following through, doing the work, and experiencing the rewards of that process as well. In many ways that put her on a much more mature level than her peers too.

So, instead of your thinking "what is wrong with me", maybe you just need to understand what is actually "normal" for your age and understand that it is also "normal" not to really know "who" self is going to be eventually either.

OE