I don't feel guilty for having this illness, but I feel guilty for judging people who used disability bet didn't seem disabled. I remember seeing on the news once secret footage of someone on disability who was up fixing the roof of his house. I remember think that he was cheating the system. Now I realize that a silent disability is so awful because here I am on disability, but I can still take care of my kids, drive around, do my errands, fix my house, paint the walls, go to the gym go out for a run. But going to work full time with all its stresses can put me in the hospital. Now I get it.