I haven't posted in a long time. I just went through a severe depression that lasted for 3 weeks in December. I had to take time off work, and I couldn't eat or sleep. I lost about 10 lbs from not eating, and it's really twisted because I am getting compliments when the weight loss was because i was really sick. Even my therapist, he was away all Dec, so i didn't see him until a few days ago, and ge said "i've never seen you looking better." Seriously? Now i'm eating again, and will probably put the weight back on, and then i'll feel like a failure and people will make judgements. It's so wrong.

But i do feel mostly better. I've been having mostly good days for over a week. I'm crying a little now, but i will probably feel better later today. But i am having trouble getting out of bed, so typing this on my phone. I really hate this. I can be ok, and then things fall apart. Over and over and over. I never thought i would live this long (just turned 38), and i didn't really plan for it in my mind. I have a great job, but the contract ends spring 2016, and i don't know what happens after that. Plus my cat that i had for 16 years recently died, and i miss her so much. I got another cat, and he's great, but i can't believe i'll never see her again. Everything seems so hard right now.