So, the only time he has physical contact is when he wants relief?

This guy may or may not have PTSD or Asperger's or whatever. What he does have is you, right where he wants you. First and foremost , he is SELFISH.

Think about it;

He doesn't do oral because he doesn't want to. Why should he? It doesn't make HIM feel good. Your desires don't matter , btw.

He doesn't do oral because he doesn't need to. He knows that you will give him relief eventually. Once that is over, no need for reciprocity.

You may have a degree, but he is the puppet master.

Why should he want therapy? He gets sex daily with no investment on his part. Plus, you work together, so he doesn't even have to go out, let alone make an effort.

I have a feeling that the lack of oral may be a cover story for a deeper issue. I sense a fair amount of buried hostility. Then again, i could be wrong.