I´m a 30+ year old woman and I´m still a virgin. There´s nothing physically wrong and I´ve been having sex "by myself" since my teens. So far everything seems normal. I don´t have any religious or other hesitations that prevents me from take this step. I wasn´t sexually traumatized as a child.

I don´t really know how I got into this "situation", I was never interested in looking for a partner in my teens and not in my 20:s either. I thought about my situation being single from time to time but I never took the step to go online dating or so.

Now I sometimes feel unnormal because of this and even if I get aroused when looking at nice intimate sex in a movie for instance I don´t feel the urge to find someone and just have sex. I can´t really see myself in a relationship and I don´t fantasize about other people sexually.

Sometimes I´ve thought about the possibility me being asexual but as I never considered a relationship at all, not a plathonic one either, I think there could be other explanations to this that I don´t really know of.

I don´t want to live by myself for the rest of my life but I though find it hard imagining myself being in a relationship and what it would be like.

Of course I know of dating communities and so on and I can´t say I would be scared of dating but it doesn´t feel natural for some reason. As this is a therapy community I´m not looking for dating tips.

I would want some reflections on this matter, perhaps there´s someone else out there who shares this matter with me.

Sometimes this makes me really sad.