A combination of both. In the past people were too polite and befriended me out of pity so I would talk to them and they got secretly annoyed with me and eventually blew up in my face about it. Worry that will happen again. And in a similar way, I am currently friends with someone who has trouble with being honest in a tactful way. I see it in interactions between her and others, if she is annoyed at someone, she will not say anything to that person until she blows up on them. And once she said I was crowding her but then changed and said I wasn't, but she keeps sending mixed signals. So after reading all these comments, I figured it is best to stop asking if I am annoying and just follow my gut. If I feel like she is annoyed about something, she probably is. Even if she does not admit it.