I started binging again. I knew I shouldn't start again but did because of touchy emotional relationships. I told myself I did not want to kick in other people's bounderies. I also hear voices and if I eat, I can't hear them so much. I just couldn't stop myself from eating though.

I have been binging for a week and half. I have been using laxitives also. I can't take this habit. I even started to take a respite some other way (can't say for privacy reason cause someone reads this which ..) so anyway. I am actually doing much better with the respite. I have to in extreme matters choose the lesser vice. (a mild drug taken) so anyway. Appetite has been genetic in my family where three first generation relatives have weighted three-hundred and more pounds very very easily. I can say that stopping eating is almost impossible. I only stop because I know I will die.